[ Music: Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2 - Liszt ]

right.
so SYF
is now over.
but we still live on
we played our best
we enjoyed ourselves
we had long practices
we worked hard
20 minutes on stage required months of preparation.
fear wasnt there
we conquered fear
we were there to perform
to play for each other
to indulge in the piece
to impress ourselves
to not let ourselves down with all these hard work that we've put in
what we had was fun
excitement
enthusiasm

nothing was running through our minds when we were on stage
we didnt even think about the award.
after we ended our playing, we left
satisfied
it was one hell of a good time
a last time(for j2s at least)
we believed in ourselves
we believed that we did well.
but
the truth wasnt so.
--
when results were announced
gold.
it was what we got.
although we constantly told ourselves
that results are not the most important thing
it is the process.
however, who really can withstand this blow?
the band was really, in a state of shock
we all sat, stunned.
staring into blank space
or at each other
we couldnt utter a single word
after all it wasnt what we expected.

and soon the crying virus spread.
one by one we were overtaken by sadness
seeing people cry is really...
some people cried.
some cried like mad
some just shed some tears.

i tried to contain it.
but it didnt help
in the end i cried too.
i cant explain why i cried
i dont know why i cried
but theres this sense of sadness inside me that made me do so.
in the end
my section had a crying photo.


the question now is
whats next?
im confused.
ive lost my direction
doing well in band would be a nice motivation factor to push ourselves forward in studies
but now, im...

seriously.
what now?
can some1 answer this question..

but.
ill treasure
ill treasure that 20 mins on stage
ill treasure those months in band
ill treasure those wonderful memories that band gave me
ill treasure the friends ive made in band

and ill remember
forever..
always...

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